:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
