I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
