Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"

Fav 19 930 2128
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?

Fav 19 1387 5887
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i just stepped in cum. i hate you.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Thats what happens when you don't swallow.

Fav 86 10013 3308
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(703): View more from Virginia

i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move

Fav 33 7637 1140
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(901): View more from Tennessee

He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.

Fav 23 7633 1291
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma

Fav 23 1256 3804
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.

Fav 15 6147 1142
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.

Fav 2 196 141
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"

Fav 1 78 10
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