I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sorry about my life...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
