just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
be right there i have to get my cape
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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