After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
