I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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