I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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