I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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