Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
