she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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