He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
