South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
