Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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