just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
