The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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