I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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