Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Are we still banned from the library?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
