I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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