..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
