We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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