i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
