he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
