i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
