this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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