I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
