i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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