Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
