What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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