I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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