they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
