I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
