Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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