Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
