I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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