Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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