Umm I'm too high to move.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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