If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
