Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
