and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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