the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
