4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
