she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
