How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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