ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
