do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
