put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
