my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
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