Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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