Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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